Dear diary,
It’s been a while since I wrote a blog and now have an aversion to that word for some reason so I chose to call this my journal instead. It’s pretty much the same as me journaling except I’m typing…
Anywayyyyy
I am sitting here, swollen breasts, swollen uterus, swollen sense of sovereignty feeling empowered and sensitive.
If you are a man and made it past that line, you’re amazing. LOL. Keep reading if you want your lady to love you more at her time of the month, haha.
The week before my bleed is always the most difficult for all in my house, not just me. I am more irritable, more sensitive, less able to take their sh*t basically and because it happens so abruptly the house goes in to disarray. Usually I am the picture of patience and understanding… But not in my Luteal phase.
And also this is not something I have to be apologetic about. because out of my WHOLE MONTH this is the one week where my filter is off and I will not stand being disregarded, disrespected or generally treat anything less than the GODESS I am. My body is preparing to bleed for 5 days, which is the CLOSEST I can get to Shakti (even women in India are asked not to enter temple during menstruation because their shakti is so POWERFUL they take the power from the murtis that reside in there).
So no, I don’t feel in the mood for joking, speaking or being spoken to in any manner other than a loving tone.
This is where mama cacao comes in to hold me. This is why cacao & your period go so well together.
Holding a woman in her Shakti state is no easy fete.
Even Shiva lay down his body on the ground when Kali Maa turned into her cosmic form of destruction, just so he could bring her back to her more benevolent nature.
Cacao is the mother holding the mother. She is the Shiva laying beneath my feet, reminding me of who I am at my centre. Not attempting to calm me or dilute me, just to hold me while I bring myself back.
On top of that, she nourishes me with all the goodness she contains when my body is preparing and shedding in luteal and menstruation. Learn more about her benefits here
In all the womb work I have done over the years, all the cacao ceremonies and circles, the psychedelics and medicines, the message has always lead to the same outcome: DON’T WAIT FOR SOMEONE EXTERNALLY TO HOLD YOU, LEARN TO HOLD YOURSELF, ONLY THEN WILL YOU REALISE THE DIVINE WAS ALWAYS HOLDING YOU. YOU ARE THAT.
Being a woman and mother in her late 20’s, in Wakefield, West Yorkshire bringing cacao to my local community so they can have their own experience with her is such a beautiful blessing. A calling that came from so deep within I could say it came from below haha! It feels like her roots are my roots and she is sending me the nourishment and information I need to help her do her work. And maybe undo some of the other peoples mistakes as I go.
I have seen her transform my own life, and I have seen her transform other women’s lives too.
It would bring me so much joy to see her transform yours.
With my heart open and my arms wide,
I welcome you to my journal.
Much love, Shri Matreshwari
Ps If you feel her call, you can explore our cacao here – https://www.amruthamgamaya.co.uk/amrutham-cacao/